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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in old cranky bastard dot com's LiveJournal:

Thursday, February 6th, 2003
3:02 pm
CRAP!
God damn it! It sucks being dead! I think my arms just rotted off! FUCK! Damn young people with their rock and roll and their crack cocaine and their MTV and their hair spray...

FUCKING SQUIRREL JUST ATE MY THUMBS OFF! PIG FUCKER! I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL AND DIE!

And that fucking useless grandson still hasn't come here to find my corpse. This really is annoying! Damn kids can't do anything right at all!

Damn kids. Damn house. Damn....damnit.

Damn.

Current Mood: angry
Tuesday, August 6th, 2002
9:49 am
damn these corns!
damn these corns!

and damn this new fangled technology. bob_dot_com and scixual told me to check out peepaw, and this damn nip crap livejournal won't let me see it. maybe he died. i'll have to read the obituaries and see if he croaked.

and that bob_dot_com...tried to sell me some crappy vacuum cleaner. told him to shove it up his ass, and he did. damn kids!

my girlfriend bertha croaked the other day. serves her right. floozie riding around the plaza on her lil' buddie, tempting all the guys down the road. seducing men wearing those polka dotted nightgowns. but she had dentures...which could have been useful if my dick wasn't droopy. damnit.

damn, damn these corns!

i think i'm gonna have some toast.

ow! damn corns!

Current Mood: cranky
Saturday, August 3rd, 2002
9:37 pm
TARNATION!
Damn leg. They don't even make LEGS like they used to...I called the nurse to my unit at the Senior Plaza, and they used some stiches and some Duct tape. it's back on, but it still doesn't work like it used to. OW, these corns. Damnabit.

Once they put my leg back on, they took us from Shady Tree to the Target Store. Now that I'm over 100 years old, they don't let me drive. The bastards! Just because people are psychotic and want to go 35 miles an hour on the highway doesn't mean that I should be forced to be as crazy as these kids! Damn kids!

And speaking of kids, you should have seen these kids at this store! Back in my day, they'd have poked these girls' eyes out if they were wearing what they were in Target! The hookers in the war wore more than these girls did! They should be spanked or caned! Damnit.

I bought a toaster_dot_com at the store and went home. After that, I tried watching TV, but how can you even turn the damn thing on! They make it impossible nowadays for an old man to turn on a TV! WHAT! So I sat in my La-Z-Boy and stared at the window. Damnit.

I think I'm going to make some toast and then listen to the gramophone...and try to listen to some of those great megaphone hits from 1904.

Current Mood: aggravated
11:26 am
DAMN--WHERE DID I PUT MY CANE?!
DAMN!

Where did I put that cane?

How the hell am I going to get away from this confounded computer?

Damn! My leg just fell off! DAMN!

DAMN DAMN DAMN!

Current Mood: cranky
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